


darling, don't be afraid

by DoctorFitzy (KittooningMalijah)



Series: (trevord)EEK [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic, Panic Attacks, Thunder and Lightning, deke probably has undiagnosed anxiety, happy storm season, there is a jokey mention of thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:55:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26550241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KittooningMalijah/pseuds/DoctorFitzy
Summary: In space, there isn't rain or snow or hail. Orthunder. Deke's first experience with a storm.
Relationships: Trevor Khan/Deke Shaw
Series: (trevord)EEK [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1981807
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	darling, don't be afraid

**Author's Note:**

> The thunder near me the other night was louder than I'm used to, and while I, personally, love storms and was having a great time, it occurred to me that Deke would probably have a significantly less great time. Especially considering he has zero prior experiences with storms.

Deke leaned against the kitchen counter while he watched the bowl spin around and around in the microwave, the gentle hum just enough to keep his attention away from the rain against the windows. He wasn't the first time he'd seen rain, he wasn't that far removed from it all, but it was louder than normal, and he'd heard people at the office talking about the storm that was supposed to roll in overnight. The sun was great. A little drizzle, he could suffer through. Snow was cold, but could be fun. Storms were something he hadn't been able to experience yet, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

When the microwave beeped, he took a deep breath and opened the door so that he could remove his reheated dinner before making himself look over toward the living room. The tall windows were streaming with water, which wasn't an entirely terrible thing when he took his boyfriend's silhouette into consideration. Trevor had offered to stay over when it had been mentioned that he'd never seen a  _ real storm _ before, with an affectionate joke about having a SHIELD trained bodyguard around in case he got scared.

Which was completely ridiculous. He wasn't  _ scared _ of a little rain.

As soon as the thought crossed his mind, the smile that had started to pull at Deke's lips disappeared just as quickly as lightly flashed beyond the protective window panes, and the spoon his hand clattered to the tile floor. His eyes were wide while he set his bowl down slowly and made his way from the kitchen to the couch, keeping what he hoped was a safe distance between himself and the wind and rain outside. "What the fuck was that?"

The rumbling that followed his words wasn't exactly  _ loud _ , but he still didn't like it, and he stared at the rain-covered windows as if it would be enough to make them crack. Sure, the glass was made to be completely leak resistant and shatterproof, and it was extra thick to protect his apartment from the temperature and whatever weather raged outside, but what if it didn't  _ work _ ? Every design had  _ some _ kind of flaw, some kind of loophole, something that was overlooked in development.

He was pulled away from his spiraling thoughts when he felt a hand on his elbow, blinking to make himself focus his gaze on Trevor, who seemed to suddenly appear at his side. In reality, he'd likely made his way over while he'd been going over everything that could go wrong with the windows, but that was something to think about another time. "Deke? Hey, it's just lightning. And it was pretty far away." His boyfriend's voice was soothing and gentle, keeping his attention so that he couldn't slip into a panic, and he was thankful for it. "We can close the curtains, if that will help? And turn on a movie, or something? It's harder to hear the thunder if we're focused on something else."

"Wait, that was thunder? Like Thor?"

The sight of Trevor's smile drew out one of his own, and he let himself be guided down onto the couch. "Yeah, babe. Like Thor."

Shaking his head, Deke sank into the cushions and tried to relax. The idea of focusing on something that wasn't the storm outside was a nice one, especially if it meant a comfortable night on the couch, settled in with the one person he'd missed the most, these last few weeks - between meetings and testing games and reviewing reports, he barely had time to breathe, let alone plan and actually show up for date night. Hence his forgotten dinner being reheated macaroni and cheese from the cafe down the block. The idea of doing anything, let alone cooking, after long days at work was exhausting, and the only good thing about the rain was that it was falling on a Saturday. He could spend all night wherever he wanted to be, and he had nowhere to be in the morning.

He listened to the curtains sliding closed while he turned on the television, pointedly ignoring the flash out of the corner of his eye and the next, louder roll of thunder that followed it. "What do we want to turn on? Something loud? I think I still have Star Wars in the DVD player."

Just as he was about to hit the button to switch to the disc's menu, the lights in the kitchen, along with the television itself, flickered once, twice, and then turned off completely. And he could feel that little bit of fear start to grow again, his brain trying to remember what he was supposed to do during a power outage as if he'd ever actually put any thought into such a thing since leaving SHIELD. Luckily for him, he had someone nearby who  _ did _ plan for worst case scenarios, even if they were rare.

"Do you know if your building has a backup generator?"

"No clue."

"Do you have a flashlight somewhere?"

"No."

"What about candles?"

"Why would I need candles when the electric lights are usually working?"

" _ Deke _ ."

With a sigh Trevor pushed the curtains open enough to get some of the faint light from outside, digging his phone from his pocket to take out his phone. Moments later, he had the flashlight on the back of it turned on, looking around the room to make sure he didn't trip on his way back to the couch. "Change of plans, then. Turn on your light, too. My phone is almost dead, and I was going to charge it while we hung out, but..." He lifted his free hand to wave around at the darkness, the rest of his sentence fading into it. He didn't have to state the obvious.

Deke nodded and pulled out his own phone, fumbling for a moment before he was about to pull up the panel that would turn on the light. His hands were shaking, but being afraid of the dark wouldn't help anything, and he took a deep breath to try to  _ focus _ while he got to his feet. If they could find a way to turn the lights back on, everything would be fine.

"Deke?" In a matter of seconds, there were strong, steady fingers wrapped around his wrist, the gentle brush of a thumb over the scar there drawing him back into reality and the actual situation at hand. They needed a temporary light source that wouldn't go out on them because of a dying phone battery, and then they could see if there was a backup generator, and turn on the real lights, and then- "Hey,  _ breathe _ ." The words were almost drowned out by the thunder beyond the window, and he felt himself flinch, but Trevor's voice stayed calm. "I'm going to keep my flashlight on, okay? All you have to do is hold my hand. Can you do that?"

It took a few moments to shake himself into moving, into nodding his head and letting his own phone screen go dark before tucking it back into his pocket. The light between them was small, and barely enough to illuminate their faces when it wasn't pointed directly up at them, but it was enough that his eyes could adjust easier to the darkness around them while he was led around the couch and toward the door of his bedroom. He didn't quite understand the logic of it, of going deeper into the darkness that he wanted to escape, but he trusted Trevor - his boyfriend, his best friend, his  _ SHIELD sanctioned bodyguard _ . This wasn't exactly the first time he'd had to follow this man to safety, though it was a much better experience when they were holding hands.

When they had to let go so that he could sit down, it was worse than the lights going out.

Deke frowned into the darkness while he pulled his legs up onto the edge of the bed, taking another deep breath to try to hold onto the calm that had come with the physical contact, the reassurance that someone else was there, that he wasn't alone. It was made harder by the flash of lightning beyond the nearby window, and the thunder that seemed to shake the glass, and the fact that all he had to hold onto was the blanket underneath him while he squeezed his eyes shut. If he'd known that storms could be anything like  _ this _ , he would have found a way to leave the city before it hit, take a weekend trip to somewhere sunny and warm and not  _ shaking because the thunder is too loud for him to think through it _ , and-

He could feel it again, the panic, and it was stronger than it was by the couch, because at least then there was some semblance of a plan. They couldn't fix things if they were in the bedroom, even farther away from any generator that could be used to bring light back into his apartment. If he had to sit in this darkness much longer, he didn't know how he would react, and he needed something that would distract from his spinning thoughts. He hadn't been this afraid since... well, since the world was still supposed to end.

"Too loud, too loud, too loud..." He tried to cover his ears to block out the noise, but that only encouraged his imagination, and if the storm had already knocked out the power, it could only get worse from there. Couldn't lightning start fires? Or shatter a window? Or strike a person?

Deke was too wound up to fight the hands on his shoulders, to even open his eyes when he felt a gentle kiss to his forehead, to react beyond obedience when he was urged to lay down and the blankets were moved. After a minute of shuffling and moving and settling, everything was quieter, the next roll of thunder muffled by the blanket that was now over their heads as well as their bodies.

The loudest sound from his new position had nothing to do with the storm. He'd ended up with his head pillowed on Trevor's chest, the soft tee shirt under his cheek just enough stimulation to keep him  _ present _ instead of stuck in his spiral. Instead of the rain on the windows and the thunder that came with it, he could focus on something better - the steady, grounding rhythm of his boyfriend's heartbeat.


End file.
